"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of. but do it in private
and wash your hands afterwards." --Robert Heinlein.

Monday, February 04, 2013

Busy

I have so many awesome plans:

The kids are going to get ahead in school.  That's one of the great bonuses of homeschooling, right?

We're going to be awesome about doing our chores and getting our house clean.

We're going to keep it clean.

We're going to be organized.

I'm going to blog.  And read.  And cook.  And bake.  And sleep.  And have friends.

I'm going to start a cooking/reading/kid project/blog.

I'm going to make the homeschool book club successful.

We're going to actually make it to some homeschool activities so my kids can socialize with their friends.

Princess Sparkley wants a book club.  And a diorama club.  And a cooking club.  

The kids are going to be involved in sports and other activities.

I'm going to be able to see my desk someday.

I'm going to shower daily.

I'm going to have an awesome homeschool blog.

I'm going to have great projects and lessons for my kids.

And then it's almost 5PM and I find myself struggling to get any of the things done we were supposed to do today.  I realize the dryer buzzed an hour ago and I haven't made it downstairs yet to switch the loads.  The kids still don't have this week's spelling lists.  I forgot all about my cooking/reading/kid project/blog plan for weeks.  Little Guy has three doctor's appointments and a birthday party this week to go to which means our school plans are shot in the foot.  I didn't go visiting teaching for church at all last month. I haven't made it to the grocery store today and today is our shopping day which means we're running out of everything.  The mess I got all cleaned up last week has reappeared.  My Google Calendar is packed.  Saturday was the only empty day for the entire month and then Jed sent me a message that he has a thing that afternoon.

I spent one year as the Primary president before we left Kansas and I felt like I spent that entire year just staying afloat.  I wasn't good.  I wasn't successful.  I just survived.  And that doesn't make me happy.  I feel like that's how I am now in my entire life ... I'm surviving, not succeeding.  

6 comments:

Alanna said...

Oh, Nancy. This describes how I feel so well that for a moment I thought I'd written. And then I remembered that I don't homeschool (although one of my goals is to work on helping Bentley with his reading rather than just assuming he can figure it out from just going to school)...

Yeah. I think that's just life. And not to depress you or anything, but as long as you're in YW, things probably won't get much better...

But know that you're not alone!

EmmaJ said...

Hang in there!Want me to take the other kids for the DRs appointments?

wendys said...

Well put. I think most moms understand what you are going through but I can't imagine my busy life with homeschooling on top of everything!

benniegirl said...

This post is like a theme of motherhood. I might have to come back & read it a few more time because it makes me feel more normal. Thanks for posting it.

Steve Finnell said...

you are invited to follow my blog

Angela said...

I feel EXACTLY the same way, except I would add put on a bra along with showering every day. If it makes you feel more successful you are about 100 times more productive than me (I should know, I shared a room with you for like 50 years). I am going to print this out and put it up somewhere where I can see it and know I'm not alone!

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